This year will mark 30 years of marriage for my husband and I. Where does the time go? When we said our vows at the altar on that overcast morning all those years ago, we were young, happy and idealistic. We meant every word we said, but we had no clue how those words would play out over the years. We went through premarital counseling and had the necessary conversations. We even spoke to our pastors periodically for additional insight. As we continued to evolve yet stick to each other through thick and thin, it became apparent how the rose-colored glasses of unrealistic expressions could drain a marriage.

Having expectations is not bad, but choosing to make your expectations your reality without ever considering your reality becomes detrimental. In your mind, your expectations are valid, fair and even reasonable. But you neglect to consider that they don’t only involve you but others around you, in particular, your spouse. Unrealistic expectations won’t destroy your marriage unless you let them, but they can have a damaging impact on your marriage especially if you become a prisoner to your expectations. Through the freedom in Christ, give your expectations over to him and let God mold them, along with you, into what is realistic for your marriage. Our expectations are cares that we can willingly cast on Him (1 Peter 5:7). As you turn over your expectations to the one who’s always realistic in ways you can’t imagine, He’ll work on you and provide the clarity and wisdom for each expectation. Wisdom has taught me that the antidote for any unreasonable expectation is prayer, communication, and compromise. Here are 10 expectations that, if not checked, can frustrate your marriage. 

Photo Credit: Benjamin Robyn Jespersen/Unsplash